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This is a transcript of "Peace, Love, and Hackerness".
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Welcome to Far Out Radio.

Where the good vibes rock,

and the bad times roll on by.

I'm your host DJ Groovy, comin' atcha from

the site that's Outta Site.

Time to kick back and listen to

the mellowest music in Cyberspace.

Swing and sway, groovesters.

Huh! That was odd.

Did you see those borgettes smiling at me?

No one ever dares to smile at The Hacker!

Buzz? Delete?

Stop that silly swaying!

But it's DJ Groovy's music, boss!

He makes me feel all warm and fuzzy... and groovy!

Time now for a good news break.

Today's good news is about - hang onto your hula hoops -

The Hacker!

Moi?

A new Far Out Radio poll shows that Hacker's Fear Rating

has plummeted to four per cent!

That's right - only four cyber-citizens

out of a hundred think Hacker is scary.

What?!

Hardly anyone in Cyberspace fears The Hacker anymore!

How could that be?!

How could that be?

Take a gander at this.

The Hacker...

Yesterday's most feared borg...

is just not scary anymore.

That's not true!

Wanna play jump rope?

Jump rope?!

To be honest, Hacker -

and I believe in giving it to you straight -

your Fear Rating is in trouble.

How much trouble, CS?

Serious trouble. It's nearly zero!

You're about as scary as dearly docile DJ Groovy.

But nobody is afraid of DJ Groovy!

My point exactly!

He's all about peace, love and happiness.

Pretty soon nobody will ever fear you again!

What am I going to do?!

Easy there, big guy.

I, Cool Starmaker, have rescued

other falling stars from far worse.

Look at me. If you truly wish to be feared again -

you'll have to do something bad.

Something nasty...

Yes, yes, how nasty?

Something so dastardly...

Uh-huh...uh-huh...

So vile...

WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

You, me and some special guests

will leave immediately for Outta Site.

The unruffled, untroubled home of the Rebooter Bees.

There, you will redeem your place in the halls of evil

by putting an end to Far Out Radio!

I LOVE IT!

Next up, a special dedication to all my bee-buds...

It's a mellow melody from one of your faves and mine:

The Melody Drones.

What are we doing here, CS?

Is the humbled Hacker going to make

mellow music with DJ Groovy?

Au contraire! The Hacker is here

to do something nasty, something dastardly,

something so vile...

That it will make front page headlines

in all your newspapers!

I can't believe what you just did!

It was so nasty, so dastardly, so vile!

Ah, yes! Those words are music to my ears.

Digit! Emergency!

Hacker just destroyed the antenna

for Far Out Radio.

What?!

No! I love that music!

So do the Rebooter Bees at the computer chip factory.

No music means unhappy bees.

And unhappy bees mean no pollination.

No pollination means no rebooted computer chips.

Yoikes! All of Cyberspace would shut-down!

Summon the Cybersquad NOW!

Hey! It was totally nice of you guys to stop by!

Don't worry, DJ, we'll get the music back on the air!

And the Rebooter Bees will be back to work pronto!

Chill...okay?

All we need is a new antenna

and I'll be back on the air in a flash.

I'm just waiting for Joe the Antenna Guy to call me back.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

That's him now.

Joe? I need a new antenna.

I can get one out to you right away.

How long was the old one?

How long? Uh...don't know.

The new one's gotta be the exact same length

as the old one or it won't work.

Wrong length - no music.

Like, we need to know the exact length of the old antenna.

DJ...what's with the music?

The Rebooter Bees won't work without it!

I know, Hector. I'm off the air!

Hey guys, we can just order a new antenna - but first

we have to find out how long the old one was.

So? Big buzz! Just measure it.

Can't. The old antenna was blown to bits.

Wait! I just thought of something!

Whoa! Look at that!

The antenna got blasted into six pieces.

Yep. Two pieces landed in Funky Forest.

Two in Jazzy Valley.

And the last two at Ginchy Gulf.

We better split up.

All we have to do is find the pieces -

add up how long each one is -

and that will tell us how long the antenna was.

Remember, we need to measure the lengths with great accuracy -

or the new antenna won't work.

No worries here!

Accuracy is my middle name.

What's accuracy?

It means gettin' the numbers right and not makin' a mistake.

C'mon, Didge, let's you and me hit the Funky Forest!

Man, this forest is funky, all right.

Keep your eyes peeled for those pieces, Hector!

Gotcha! You watch out for the--

...trees!

AHHHH!

Umph!

So much for not making a mistake.

You okay?

Better than okay!

We found the antenna pieces.

All we gotta do is measure 'em!

How long is it?

One hundred cyber inches long - on the nose!

Let's measure the other piece.

Wh-uh, measurement problem!

This piece is longer than the fifty cyber inch mark -

but it doesn't reach fifty-one.

What does this little mark mean?!

I guess it means halfway.

Guessin' isn't good enough, Didge.

Inez said we gotta know the length "with great accuracy."

Hello leaf! You just gave me an idea...

One cyber inch long!

No more, no less!

And one cyber inch of leaf folded neatly

in half equals one half cyber inch!

So this little mark means half a cyber inch!

Way to go, hector!

A measurement with "great accuracy"!

What's up, gordon!

A total breakdown!

The bees aren't rebooting the chips!

Pollination has come to a complete stop.

I repeat, pollination has stopped!

Yeooooww!

It's a mutiny!

The bees are leavin' the factory!

We need the music now!

Oh brother, this is bad - real bad.

No music... No bees...

No chips... No cyberspace!

We're almost to ginchy gulf.

Uh-oh! You see what I see?

Buzz and delete!

You really think we should do this?

You heard the boss.

No one better mess up his plan - especially those earthbrats!

Whoa-kay!

Ahhhhh!

I guess hacker knows we're here!

That's a problem!

I see another problem!

Ahhhhh!

I've got your latest fear rating.

Did it go up? Down?

Down? Up?

Hacker: Open it!

Sorry.

Your fear rating has gone...

...Up to sixty-four percent!

Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

The antenna pieces!

The rebooter bees!

They sure look angry.

They need a groovy tune to chill 'em out.

Here, you measure -

I'll see what I can do about the groovy tune!

[humming]

It's working!

We can't let 'em get those measurements!

Don't worry, deedee - you gotta be

Really smart to figure that out.

Like us, huh? Ha ha ha!

Wait... What was I laughing about?

Inez! What's the mark in the middle between ten and eleven?

Inez: (singing) It's the half inch mark.

Got it! So like the shorter piece measures

Ten and a half cyber inches.

Now the other piece!

Hey hey... The middle line.

It's between fifteen and sixteen.

It's fifteen and a half cyber inches long!

Inez: (singing) Now write it down. We need the total length of the two pieces.

Okay so like ten and a half

Plus fifteen and a half equals... Whoa!

How do you add ten and a half plus fifteen and a half?!

Inez: (singing) Start with what you know. Adding up the whole numbers, that would make it easier to think about!

Awesome! The whole numbers add up to twenty-five.

Now for the fractions.

Okay, so one plus one equals two.

And two plus two equals four! Easy!

Hey, inez! Does one half plus one half equal two fourths?

Delete: Oh no, they've figured it out!

Inez: (singing) No! One-half plus one-half makes two-halfs! Not two-fourths!

Buzz: I... I knew that.

DJ: Huh? Then, how did I get two-fourths? Oh yeah! The bottom ones don't get added.

They just tell me the fractions I'm adding are halves.

So when you add one half plus one half, you get two halves.

And two halves is a whole!

So twenty five plus two halves

Is the same as twenty five plus one...

Which is twenty six!

Inez! The total length of both pieces

Is twenty-six cyber inches!

Inez: (singing) Great job, DJ! Now let's go!

Stop! You're not goin' anywhere!

And stop with that humming!

Like, you don't want her to do that.

Delete: You heard Buzzy, STOP HUMMING!

Inez: (singing) Okay. (speaks) Have it your way.


Ahhhh!

Alright! Far out!

Back to the station!

A toast. To me, of course!

Well, I have a surprise for you, hacker.

Your new fear rating.

Your rating has gone up...

To eighty-seven percent!

Yes!

The hack is back!

Who wants to buy a t-shirt?

Hang ten, jax!

Ginchy gulf, dead ahead!

Matt! The antenna pieces!

C'mon, let's measure 'em.

How long is it?

Um... Sixty-two and a little bit!

How much is a little bit? We gotta get this right.

I'm not sure...

There are one-two-three-four equal spaces

Between sixty-two and sixty-three.

So each mark measures off another one fourth cyber inch!

So the first piece is sixty-two

And one fourth cyber inches long.

Ahhhhhh!

Am I dreaming - or was that buzz and delete?

It was! And the rebooter bees.

Uh-oh! We've got company!

And they're not happy!

Bees, please! We're trying to help you!

Just give us a couple minutes, ok?

Hurry, we gotta measure the second piece!

It's seventy-six and two fourths cyber inches long!

Got it! C'mon, we're on your side!

Let's go before buzz and delete come back!

But we didn't add the two lengths together!

We'll add 'em up at the radio station! C'mon!

Ahhhhhh!

Matt... Jackie! We found our pieces - did you?

Found and measured!

We just didn't have time to add 'em up.

That's okay. We can add up all the measurements now.

Like, then we'll know how long the old antenna was -

And we can get the new one!

Uh-oh! If they get a new antenna they can restart the music!

We gotta stop 'em!

How? We can't stop anything.

I know. We better call the boss.

Congratulations, hacker.

Your fear rating is now one hundred percent!

You're the most feared borg in all of cyberspace.

[cell phone ringing]

Must be my fan club.

The hacker speaking.

They're doing what?!

We have a problem!

Those earthbrats are trying to get dj groovy back on the air!

Now, now. Try not to look at this as a problem.

Look at it as... An opportunity!

An opportunity... Yes.

A chance to prove why you're the most feared borg

In all of cyberspace!

Okay, people... Measurements.

We got one hundred fifty and one half cyber inches

Total length for our pieces!

Ours totaled twenty-six cyber inches.

One of ours measured seventy-six and two fourths.

And the other was sixty-two and one fourth!

Add'em up, dj!

Let's see, first...

Oh, no, they're back! More of 'em!

Easy, bee-buds... We're just tryin' to help you out.

They're in a frenzy!

The only thing that's gonna help now is the music!

Matt...Jackie... C'mon, we'll handle the bees.

You guys add up the measurements!

Start humming!

What?

Just hum!

[humming]

Cut that out!

Like, we already know, we add the whole numbers first -

Then do our thing with the fractions.

Yeah yeah - add the whole numbers!

Six plus six is twelve plus two is fourteen...

Carry my one plus five is six...

And two is eight plus seven is fifteen

Okay, people... measurements.

We got one hundred fifty and one half cyber inches

total length for our pieces!

Ours totaled twenty-six cyber inches.

One of ours measured seventy-six and two fourths.

And the other was sixty-two and one fourth!

Add'em up, DJ!

Let's see, first...

Oh, no, they're back! More of 'em!

Easy, bee-buds... we're just tryin' to help you out.

They're in a frenzy!

The only thing that's gonna help now is the music!

Matt...Jackie... c'mon, we'll handle the bees.

You guys add up the measurements!

Start humming!

What?

Just hum!

[HUMMING]

Cut that out!

Like, we already know, we add the whole numbers first -

then do our thing with the fractions.

Yeah yeah - add the whole numbers!

Six plus six is twelve plus two is fourteen...

carry my one plus five is six...

and two is eight plus seven is fifteen

plus six is twenty-one.

Carry my two plus one is three!

The whole numbers total three hundred fourteen cyber inches!

Now the fractions. Oh, man!

Don't sweat it, Didge.

We just add the top numbers -

and the bottom number stays the same. Oh, no!

Check it out! The bottom numbers are different!

We've got halves and fourths.

How do we add fractions with different bottom numbers?

I know! They're fractions of a cyber-inch, right?

So use my tape measure...

We can find the fractions on the tape and add 'em up.

Great idea, Hector!

Okay, what have we got here?

One-two-three-four equal spaces.

And this mark halfway between is the half-cyber inch mark.

Hey, Didge... guess what?

What?

One-fourth plus one-fourth is two-fourths!

That's the same amount as one half!

Groovy! So like, if we change this two fourths

to make it one half, then we can add both one-halves together...

One half plus one half equals one - even I know that!

Right on, Didge! Then add that one to the one-fourth cyber inch

for a fraction total of one and one fourth cyber inches!

All you gotta do now is add that to the whole number part.

So three hundred fourteen plus one and one fourth

is three hundred fifteen and one fourth cyber inches!

And that's how long the old antenna was!

ś Way to go. We're about hummed out! ś

Joe! Send over a new antenna three hundred fifteen

and one fourth cyber inches long.

We need it now!

There you go, DJ, exactly three hundred fifteen

and one-fourth cyber inches long.

It's working like a charm.

Like, totally groovy!

The bees are back at work and all's right with cyberworld.

YOIKES! It's The Hacker!

I, The Hacker, the most feared borg in cyberspace,

will silence the music once and for all!

Oh no! What are we gonna do?!

We gotta stop him!

Relax, I gave you an upgrade. This antenna's indestructible.

Groovy music, huh, Buzzy?

Yeah, it's like... peace, love and Hackerness!

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