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format_quote This is a transcript of "The Bluebird of Zappiness".
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Act 1


Are you here?

It's me, The Hacker.

I just hope nobody sees me.

But I'll do whatever it takes to find

that Bluebird of Zappiness.

Where are you? !

Who are you?

Hey, Hacker!


You're the one who told me to come here dressed like this?

Consider it payback for calling me a failure.

By morning, you'll be the laughing stock of Cyberspace!


For those of you who always thought

The Hacker was a clown... we know for sure!

Shut that off!


Whatever you say, boss!

After all I've done to establish my reputation...

that picture will ruin me!

Don't be so sure, boss.

You make a great clown.


The nose is great!

And the hair - I love the hair.

For the record, I was tricked by that sniveling rat, Ledge!


The genius kid who Hackerized Sensible Flats?

And wanted to be your partner, but you told him 'no'?

Because he failed, that's why!

He did NOT bring down the CyberSquad as he promised!

Hey, nobody's perfect.

Yeah, boss, you should know that.


You're fired!

But boss--

Look! It's Hacker the Clown!

Get off my property, you fiends!

Not everyone's afraid of you, Hacker.

You again!

How about one more picture?

Just pull your collar up a little bit.

Enough, Ledge! You've had your fun!

Oh, I'm only just getting started.

I think I'll go find the Bluebird of Zappiness next!

No way!

No one knows where the Bluebird is - not even you!

We'll see, Hacker.

We'll see who finds it first!

We'll help you find the birdie.

Yeah, that would really make Hacker mad.


You work for me, starting now.

It's a deal... boss!

Happy Birthday, Lily...

More shadows! More shadows!

Here's one!

...and it does whatever I do.

Ooh, look at mine, I can make it dance.

Everyone, come see my shadow!

Ooh! Yeah! Oooh!

That's not fair!

My shadow is shorter than everyone's!

You know why, Lily?

Cause you're shorter than everyone else.

What? I wasn't trying to be mean.

Lily, what Digit meant was the length of your shadow

depends on how tall you are.



See my shadow next to Digit's?

I'm taller than he is, so my shadow is longer.

Taller people - or Poddles - cast longer shadows

than shorter ones.

But I don't want the shortest shadow.

I think I can fix that.

Come with me...

Here's where I've been planning my takeover of

Cyberspace...and my revenge against Hacker.

My former hero!

Oooh, Ooooh, Buzzie, look!

Don't touch!

My inventions are priceless!

Don't worry, Ledge, we know how to be careful.

Hacker invents stuff, too.

Not like me, he doesn't.

Look at this!

These speakers are connected to a listening device

I planted on Hacker.

I can hear everything he says, so we can follow him

as he looks for the Bluebird.

But The Hacker doesn't even like birds.

Why would he look for a blue one?

It's not a real bird.

It's a remote control, shaped like a bird.

When Hacker worked for Motherboard,

he invented it to boost her memory.

After he inflicted her with the virus,

she thought the Bluebird might someday

help restore her memory.

So she hid it in a secret location.

Ooh I love secret locations!

Where is it?

It's a secret - so no one knows!

Motherboard can't even remember.

She sent clues to where she hid it to three friends.

Unfortunately, one clue went to Hacker

because of her memory glitch.

But, the other two clues are still out there - and Hacker's

going to help me find them!

The Hacker, here!

It's Ledge.

Guess what I've got!

Hi, boss?

You miss us?

You have Buzz and Delete?

I do.

They work for me.

And now I'm going to get something else

that used to be yours: the Bluebird of Zappiness!

That's impossible!


I'll let you know when the little birdie

comes home to nest.

Let the fun begin!

I can't let him find it!

Where's my clue!

Hey! We can really hear him!

My clue!

I just needthe other two.

Hmmmm...who can help me find them?

Who would want to stop Ledge as much as I do?

Of course...Motherboard!

Let's hear it for Lily, and her new,

improved, longer shadow!

Yay, Lily!


It's Motherboard!


The Bluebird of Zappiness must be found.

Three clues will lead you to it.

Where are the clues?

Two clues coming.

Hacker has the third.


Need all three clues to find Bluebird.

...must work with Hacker.

Mother B, you're joking, right?


Ledge also in search of Bluebird.

You must ...find it first!

Ledge - that double crosser.

This is personal!

Ugh. There is no way I'm sitting next to him!

And there is no way I'm being nice to him!

Greetings, cybersquad.

What a special moment in time this is.

Yeah, really special.

Now, now, Digit...

let's not allow the past to rule the present, huh?

It's time to join forces for the good of Cyberspace.



Actually, if you just give us your clue,

we could find the Bluebird on our own.

Nice try...but no.

Matt ...could you just scooch over a tad so I can squeeze in.

So kind.

All aboard for Mount Olympus!

Frankly, I never thought this moment would arrive.

I mean, it's been eons since Motherboard told me some day

I'd be shooting an arrow to deliver a clue to the

whereabouts of the Bluebird of Zappiness.

Ugh, c'mon.

Just shoot the arrow, will you please? !


Did you have to bring him?


Artemis, I don't mean to rush you,

but we are in kind of a hurry.


Remember, the clue is where the arrow lands.


There's nothing up here!

Where's the clue?

Where's the arrow? !

Act 2

Artemis said the clue is "where the arrow lands."


It says, "You are on top of Mt. Olympus".

Okay, let's work with that.

The arrow stuck in the word 'top'.

Could that be the clue?

The top of what?


Not telling!

That's not fair!

You know our clue.

This isn't about fairness - it's about finding thebluebird!

Where to next?


Good work, hacker!

So we know the bluebird is 'on top of' something

That's 'green-striped'...


Better bring my lift in case it's someplace high up.

Pack it up, bots.

Just press the on button.

When the scissors fold, press off.

Then put it in a box.


I'll get the rest of my gear.

No problem, boss.

Yeah, you can count on us!


Welcome...And happy groundhoggian day!

To those of you visiting for the first time,

We gather here on the same day, at the same time,

Every year, to see if the grand groundhoggian

Sees his shadow.

If he does, it's time to harvest the alfalfa crop!

If he doesn't, it means we have to wait six more weeks.

According to motherboard, the next clue is buried

Where the grand groundhoggian's shadow ends.


Awaken the grand groundhoggian.


That is one seriously long shadow.


Come, everyone, let the harvest begin!

Back to sleep.

Quick, mark where his shadow ends before he goes back under!

My pen!

Excuse me.

What are you looking for?

A clue that's supposed to be buried here.

I don't see anything.

Is the clue invisible?

Okay, deedee, let's pack it up.

Hit the button.

Hey, that was fun!

Wanna take a ride?


But let's make it go faster.




I say we wake the subterranean rat and check his shadow again!

Please don't wake him!

This is his first year as grand grandhoggian,

And we don't want to confuse him.

His first year?

Then he wouldn't have been here when motherboard

Sent the clue!

Punxie, who was the grand groundhoggian before this one?

His grandpa.

Were they the same height?

I...I don't know.

Like I said ...Wake up the new guy!


Didn't we just do this?

Excuse me, mr. Grand groundhoggian...

How tall was your grandpa?

Never measured him.

But...Uh...Here's a picture of us.

Good night.


Grandpa's much taller.

Look...His shadow is longer, too.

So we were diggin' in the wrong place!

But how are we gonna find the right place

Without grandpa bein' here?

Hmmm...Maybe there's a relationship between heights

And shadows we can use to figure it out...


You look twice as tall as me and your shadow

Is longer than mine.

Do you think your shadow could be twice as long as mine?

Let's compare and find out!

Leave this to the hacker!

Punxie is one stick tall...

And inez is two sticks tall.

Is her shadow twice as long, too?

Stick, please.

Punxie's shadow is two sticks long.

And inez's shadow is four sticks long!


I'm twice as tall as punxie - and my shadow is twice as long.

Twice as tall, twice as long...

Looks like there is a relationship.

So however many times as tall something is,

Its shadow will be that many times as long.

Alright, alright, you're brilliant!

Let's see if that works with this photo.

The grand groundhoggian is one thumb tall.

And grandpa is...

One-two-three thumbs tall!

Then his shadow would have been three times as long!

Let's measure where that would be!


Here's the new grand groundhoggian shadow length.

Here's two shadow lengths.

Here's three - where grandpa's shadow would have reached.

Start digging!

Something's here!

What is it?

A hoodoo!

A what-doo?

A hoodoo.

A tall thin spire of rock.

A hoodoo...Like at hoodoo mesa...On sensible flats!

The bluebird is on top of the green- striped hoodoo

At sensible flats!

All right!



Come back here!

Act 3

We have to stop him!

If he gets the bluebird, he'll destroy motherboard.

I won't let that happen!



I just wanted to sit up front.

Yeah, right.

Tell us your clue!

I will!

Just get this varmint off me!

Clue first!

Oh, all right.

The bluebird is on top of the green-striped hoodoo

At hoodoo mesa.

Punxie, you were awesome.


Now go get that bluebird!


Unpack the box!

Huh? What happened to my scissors lift?

Um, that's, uh, how it folded.

You duncebuckets ruined it!

Good thing I brought my climbing gear too.

It's hacker and the cybersquad!

I'll get my gear from the pod!

Make sure no one goes up this hoodoo!

Got it?


There it is! The green-striped hoodoo.

And there's the bluebird of zappiness!

No problemo, earthlies...I'll get it!


Didge, you okay?

Outside of a little humiliation

...And a bent prop, I'm fine.

But we still need to get the bluebird.

It looks like someone beat us to it!

Buzz and delete?

What are they doing here?

It's a long story - but it means ledge must be here too!


We gotta get the bluebird before he does!

But you can't fly!

How do we get up there?

There's plenty of cyberbamboo around here.

Maybe we can build a ladder.

How do we know how tall to make it?

There's no way to measure the height of the hoodoo.

No, but we could measure its shadow.

And use what we know about shadows to figure out

The height of the hoodoo!


I was twice as tall as punxie, so my shadow

Was twice as long as hers.

So let's compare your shadow - to the hoodoo's shadow!

See how many of your shadows fit into the hoodoo's shadow.

Then use that number to make the ladder that many times

As tall as I am!

How can we compare shadows

With buzz and delete standing there?

Excuse me.

The hacker knows how to handle those bots.

I'll create a diversion!

Hello, boys!

I've missed you!

Don't come any closer, boss.

Even if you aren't our boss...Anymore!

Relax, I'm not here to cause trouble.

I realize now I can never conquer cyberspace without you.

So...I've surrendered to motherboard.

You have?


The cybersquad is here to bring me in.

But...May I ask one last favor?

Would you take a picture with me,

So I can remember the good old days?

Sure, boss, we can do that for you.

So let's compare your shadow - to the hoodoo's shadow!

See how many of your shadows fit into the hoodoo's shadow.

Then use that number to make the ladder that many times

as tall as I am!

How can we compare shadows

with Buzz and Delete standing there?

Excuse me.

The Hacker knows how to handle those Bots.

I'll create a diversion!

Hello, boys!

I've missed you!

Don't come any closer, boss.

Even if you aren't our boss...anymore!

Relax, I'm not here to cause trouble.

I realize now I can never conquer Cyberspace without you.

So...I've surrendered to Motherboard.

You have?


The CyberSquad is here to bring me in.

But...may I ask one last favor?

Would you take a picture with me,

so I can remember the good old days?

Sure, boss, we can do that for you.

Turn this way, okay?

Much better light.

How's this?

Let's see...

Your shadow is as long as this stick.

Let's see how many sticks fit into the hoodoo's shadow.

This is two.


Y'know, I'm not feeling it.

Can you give me more emotion?

How's this?


Not-quite-so-much-emotion, okay?

...and ten!

The hoodoo's shadow is ten times as long as your shadow.

Which means the hoodoo is ten times as tall as I am!

Then our ladder needs to be ten times taller, too!

Let's build it!

Okay, that's a wrap!

C'mon, Didge.

So, I'm just curious?

How did you find this place without knowing the clues?

Easy, boss, Ledge bugged you.


He put a listening thingy on your cape!


That devious rat!

Where is he?


You're too late, Hacker!

The Bluebird of Zappiness is almost mine!

No way! I invented it - it's mine!

I sure hope this reaches the top.


Get off my rope, Hacker!

Stay away from my Bluebird, Ledge!

Got it!

No way, Ledge.

We meet again!

Sorry to break up your little reunion - but this is mine!

Let go of my invention!


We'll get it!

Uh-oh, our ex-boss isn't gonna be zappy about this.


You haven't seen the last of me, Hacker!

Awwww, too bad we didn't save the Bluebird for Motherboard.

At least Ledge and Hacker didn't get it.

We did the best we could.

Oh, that we did, beyond a shadow of a doubt! Huh? Huh?

Oh, Matt!

Move the ladder closer.

I can't reach it!

Say you're sorry for firing us.

Say you're sorry for leaving me!

You first.